Author: As parents, we spend so much time worrying about whether we’re getting it right. We wonder how our kids behave when we’re not around, whether they’re kind to others, and if all those little conversations about empathy, respect, and generosity are actually sticking.
The truth is, some of the most encouraging parenting moments come from hearing what someone else noticed about your child. That’s why I’ve made it a habit to look for the good in other people’s kids, and why I hope other people will do the same for mine.
There’s something I always try to do whenever I’m around other people’s children.
I look for the good.
Not in a forced, “everyone gets a trophy” kind of way. I mean genuinely noticing those little moments that parents often miss because they’re busy juggling life, making dinner, breaking up sibling arguments, or simply not seeing their child through fresh eyes.
And when I see something wonderful?
I tell their parents.
Maybe it’s how patient their child was with a younger sibling. Maybe they included the shy kid without anyone asking. Maybe they said “thank you” so naturally that it caught my attention. Maybe they worked hard, showed kindness, shared without being prompted, or made someone laugh at just the right moment.
Parents hear about the negatives all the time.
Teachers call when there’s a problem.
Schools send notes home when rules are broken.
Other adults are quick to mention if a child was rude or difficult.
But how often do we go out of our way to tell a parent something good?
Those little comments can mean everything.
As parents, we spend years wondering if all the lessons we’re teaching are actually sinking in. Are they becoming kind? Are they respectful when we’re not around? Are they treating people well?
Sometimes another adult gets to see the answer before we do.
That’s why I love “ratting kids out” in the best possible way.
“I just wanted you to know your daughter noticed another child sitting alone and invited her to play.”
“Your son held the door open for everyone.”
“Your child was so encouraging today.”
Those are the stories parents treasure.
And here’s the other side of it.
Please rat my kids out too.
Seriously.
If one of my children does something kind when I’m not there, I want to know.
If they show good character, make someone feel welcome, stand up for someone else, or simply brighten your day, tell me.
Those moments matter far more than perfect grades or winning trophies.
They tell me who they’re becoming.
Of course, if my child has hurt someone or done something that needs addressing, I absolutely want to know that too. But I don’t want the only feedback parents receive to be about mistakes.
Let’s celebrate the good just as loudly.
You never know how much your words might encourage a parent who’s questioning whether they’re doing enough.
So next time you notice another child doing something lovely, don’t keep it to yourself.
Send the text.
Mention it at pickup.
Stop their parent in the parking lot.
Those few seconds might become one of the best parts of their week.
More Parenting Topics
Parenting is full of big questions, small moments, and plenty of lessons learned along the way. If you enjoyed this article, take a look at some of our other parenting posts for more encouragement, practical tips, and relatable stories from family life.
- 9 Things About Gifted Kids You May Not Know
- Autism: Look Beyond The Anger
- Which Homeschooling Method Should You Choose?
- 9 Ways to Get Your Kids To Read Every Day | Without a Fight!
And while you’re here, I’d love to hear your thoughts too. Have you ever had someone tell you about something wonderful your child did when you weren’t around? Or have you shared one of those moments with another parent? Let’s make noticing the good a little more common.
Leave a Reply